so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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