Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
