I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
