So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
