Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
