I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
