can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
