They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
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A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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