Well douche your snatch and let's go!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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