turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
