Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
