Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize