mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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