she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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