wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
