I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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