My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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