well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
