last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
