What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
