I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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