I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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