By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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