I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
