I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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