Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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