I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
