I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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