can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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