I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
why is half of my head shaved?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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