D3 body, D1 cock
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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