My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dear god my vagina.
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