im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
