I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
