I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
