So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
