You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
