I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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