I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
