you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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