This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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