The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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