She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
