I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Bring me that man meat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
