): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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