when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
