my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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