I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
BRING THE BAGELS
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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