oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
