We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
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It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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