WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
