guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
