I'm really into asian looking animals
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
