just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize