I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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