my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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