This is not my ceiling
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
