oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
