My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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