I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
