2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
