Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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