My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize